How Did We Get Here?
by DundieAllStar
Summary: Jim/Ryan. Set at the end of Season 4, told through a series of flashbacks. Enjoy! Reviews make me happy! Oneshot.


_**Authors Note:**__ Hello. I've spent most of my free time writing out this new story. It only took me a week. Huh, I need a life. Anyway, it was just a quick break from my other Office fic, just a way to get out a lot of dialogue and fluff I had in my system, instead of using it for my other story. _

_This story went wayyy longer than I expected, the word count is over 15,000, so it's quite a long read. But I'm sure any fans of Jim/Ryan will happily enjoy it as there isn't a lot out there, (I've only managed to track down about 14 stories. Lame.) The story itself is set toward the end of Season 4, it's very AU, and it is told through a series of past events that led to the present, starting back from Season 2. _

_I should probably also mention that there is A LOT of dialogue, (What can I say? Maybe I should write screenplays? Hmm?) heaps of fluff, and I do mean HEAPS, and quite a fair share of, uncensored, all out, no-holds-barred, SMUT. Smut, smut, smut. Yes. This is slash. You've been warned.  
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_Enjoy. Please review if you like what you read :D  
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* * *

><p>How did this all start? Jim caught himself wondering as he typed away on his computer. He had to make sure the warehouse received his last shipping orders for the long list of clients that would soon be greedily snatched up by the rest of the sales department when he was gone.<p>

Six years he had spent here at Dunder Mifflin. This was only the third job he had in his life, third if he wanted to be technical and count the summer of '95 when he flipped burgers with his best friend Kyle instead of going away with the rest of his friends to get wasted at Paul's parents' beach house. Maybe he should have finished college? What if he never ended up here? Where would he be now?

He shook the questions out of his head and smiled, he was exactly where he wanted to be, well, going exactly where he was wanting to go. Besides, not everyone had to finish college to get a decent job in life. Still, it's not like he's going to be earning as much as Ryan is now, not even close. The longer he has his job the more his salary will increase. Lucky bastard.

Jim felt thirsty, maybe now would be a good time to drink his last can of grape soda from the vending machine in the break room. He got up from his desk and pushed through the two doors of the kitchen and annex, fishing the change out of his pocket he dropped it in and pushed B3.

"I hope you enjoyed your party," Pam said with a smile and a sarcastic tone, indicating how lame the parties were, and always would be.

"You know, I actually did," Jim replied as he snapped open his can and took a seat, Pam joined him.

She rolled up the sleeves on her sweater and smiled. "You're going to miss us."

He laughed and took a sip. "If only I could be lucky enough to find another job with this much hijinx."

She paused before she asked the question, pressing her lips into a tight smile. "So you're happy?"

"More like ecstatic and overjoyed," he replied, looking at his can and smiling widely. "I'll miss this place, But I miss him more."

They sat in silence for a moment, really taking it all in.

He looked up, "Are you going to miss the place when you start classes?"

She sighed and looked around. "Totally."

"So you're happy?"

"More like blissfully excited."

"It's all going to happen for you. I know it," he sighed with a smile on his face. "When you have your first art show, I'm going to be there to buy what will someday become a famous piece of art."

They laughed together and he reached his hand across the table to rest on hers. "I'm really going to miss you."

"Me too."

They stood up and hugged warmly. She swatted him on the arm and smiled. "This isn't goodbye."

"Of course not."

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm not gay," Ryan whispered as Jim pushed him up against the stall door and went to work unbuckling his pants. Like a pro, he unhooked the belt, undid the top button of the slacks and zipped down the fly. Jim's hands bunched up the pockets and ripped the pants down to Ryan's ankles, bringing the boxer briefs down with them. <em>

_For someone who wasn't gay, and was insistent enough to remind him of that fact, he was surprisingly hard, springing to life and aching to be touched. It was no surprise he was circumcised, Ryan being Jewish and all. Jim didn't care. He immediately dropped to his knees and sucked the smaller man's cock. _

_Ryan still had his beanie on, Jim looked up now and then and wondered why the man wouldn't take it off. He preyed the man wouldn't get seasick and throw up all over him._

_His mind was spinning, here he was, deepthroating a co-worker who he barely knew. When Ryan started working for Dunder Mifflin, Jim was happy, hoping he had finally met a guy his age who could share in the laughter of the craziness that was their workplace. But Ryan was quiet, reserved and somewhat anti-social. What did he really know about him? Besides that he was currently wearing black boxers, and had a decent sized, circumcised dick? They had worked together for a year now, but he barely knew anything about him. When Ryan accidentally set fire to the office, they got a chance to talk outside. Jim asked him about business school and his MBA, Ryan gave him his five year plan. _

_Jim kind of admired him for that. In fact, he was almost jealous. Only 26 and he had a five year plan. Jim didn't have a five year plan, the only plan he had was to make Pam fall in love with him and get a new job. That's as far as his goals would reach._

"_Shit-oh my god… Fuck-" Ryan moaned, slowly bucking his hips into Jim's mouth, holding onto the top of the stall door with one hand and snaking the other through Jim's hair._

_Now here he was, on a booze cruise, getting paid for overtime, in the bathroom, on his knees, sucking the cock of a guy he wouldn't even call a friend. It's weird when plans took a turn. He didn't know if this was for the better or worse. He knew he had way too much to drink. They don't call it a booze cruise for all the 'management presentations' your boss does while dancing around like an idiot. He wondered how much Ryan had to drink? _

_He didn't know what he was thinking. He had convinced himself this was just an act caused by way too much beer. He knew he hadn't had that much to drink, two beers. Maybe it was because Pam and Roy just set a date for their wedding. Maybe it was because he felt bad for the way he treated Katy. Maybe he wanted to suck Ryan's cock because the dude is pretty good looking. _

_He didn't know. He didn't care. All that mattered now was controlling his speed, breathing through his nose, running one hand up and down Ryan's smooth, firm ass and the inside of his thigh and holding onto the base of his cock and feeling his hairy bush and balls. It had been years since Jim had sucked a cock. Maybe four or five times in college, and a few times in his early twenties. It was definitely before Pam started working at Dunder Mifflin. It was like riding a bike. He just hoped he remembered how to swallow without coughing on the sudden warm come._

"_I'm gonna come. Fuck-Jim, I'm coming." Ryan moaned looking down and quickly catching a glimpse of the brown eyes that looked up._

_All of a sudden, Jim realized he didn't want this to be over. He wanted to keep going. He wanted to release the man's cock from his mouth and stand up, take off his clothes and fuck him. But there were too many reasons not to. He didn't have a condom, the boat was about to dock, and what if someone were to overhear them or god forbid someone from work were to find out. It wasn't worth the risk. _

_So he kept working his lips and jerked the cock with one hand, keeping his mouth firmly planted on the end of the shaft, jerking roughly and quickly until Ryan came in his mouth and he swallowed it all. _

_What surprised both men was that neither felt the usual wash of shame and guilt pass over them. They didn't feel dirty or embarrassed. Jim was hard as a rock, there was no use in trying to hide it. Ryan definitely noticed it. He could have at least offered a hand job. Selfish asshole. Take, take, take. _

_Jim pulled Ryan's pants halfway back up his legs and Ryan took over and tucked himself back in, refusing to leave the stall until it wasn't painfully obvious he had just been fucking the man's mouth. To his surprise, Ryan smiled at him. He smiled back._

"_Um. Thanks for that."_

_"No problem."_

_And that was that._

_Though at the time it felt okay. By the next day both men stared at each other for a split second, Ryan caught Jim staring at him. They both darted their glances back at their monitors. It didn't take long for it to get super awkward and uncomfortable. They didn't speak, look at each other or share a confined space in the office, that included, mens room, elevator, kitchen and break room._

* * *

><p>His phone buzzed around the desk in a circular motion. He smiled and picked it up, quickly excusing himself to the kitchen before flipping it open. "Hey."<p>

"_Hey. You about to leave?"_

"Another half hour and I'll be on my way."

_"I'm really glad we're doing this."_

"Me too."

_"Should warn you, traffic is going to suck."_

"Figured as much. It's 4:30 now, so hopefully I'll get in before 7:30."

_"Awesome. Can't wait. I gave the doorman my key, so I'm sure I'll come home to a lovely mess the movers made. I should've stayed home today."_

Jim laughed. When would 5:00 come?

"You missed my party asshole."

_"Wouldn't it look strange for your boss's boss to come to a mediocre, farewell, conference room party?"_

"We had ice-cream cake."

"_What flavour?" _

"Chocolate Chip, Michael almost cried."

"_Did the party planning committee go all out for you?"_

"Hmmm, Angela criticised us, and by _us_, I mean, me and you, Stanley did a cross word, Meredith wrapped half the cake in a garbage bag and put it in her purse, I'm almost positive Creed stole the $28 Pottery Barn gift card, the whole office chipped in for, oh and the kicker, the cake store misspelled my name. How do you misspell Jim? All the best, Jom."

"_What about Pam?"_

"We're okay. She'll be starting art classes over there in Summer, so we'll catch up every now and then."

"_No funny business."_

"Aw, C'mon. I was in love with her, can't you let me cheat on you just once?"

"_Asshole."_

"Freak."

"_How'd Dwight take it?"_

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot! You'll never believe it! He gave me a hug when no one was around and wished me all the best!"

_"He'll regret that when he finds his bobble head in jell-o."_

"You know me too well."

_"Please, it was my idea. Sorry, you're not worth the two hour drive."_

"Oh, but you are? Not only the drive, the move, the new job?"

_"What can I say? You love me way more than I love you, Halpert."_

"You love me. You love me so much you want me to cramp your New York, swinging, single lifestyle."

"_Who says I'm not single?"_

"I do."

_"We'll see about that. Hey, wanna go get some dinner when you get here?"_

"Yeah, sounds good."

_"Okay I'll make some reservations."_

"How about that Chinese place on the corner? I love that place."

"_Awesome, I'll call them now. Not that I'm managing you here, but don't we have a rule about personal calls?"_

"We do. But _we_ have a loophole don't we? I'm talking to my boss, therefore it's a business call. Excuse me, I'm on the phone with a very important person."

"_You're so full of shit."_

"You're trying to get me off the phone aren't you?"

"_Kind of, I don't want to run out of good material when I call you back at five so you won't be bored for the whole drive."_

"Okay, but if I get pulled over for using my cell, you're paying the fine."

"_Use the hands free thing I got you for Christmas."_

"I forget where I put it."

_"Nice. I'll call you soon."_

"Okay. Cya Ryan."

_"Bye Jim."_

He closed his phone and smiled. He smiled a big, dorky grin that took him a while to lose. His stomach was full of butterflies and he really couldn't wait to leave. It seemed so meaningless to stay until five. What could Michael do? Fire him? He sighed and drummed his fingers across his desk, he couldn't leave work early. Not today. He had spent nine years here, what was another twenty five minutes? He fought every urge in his body to grab his bag, get up and leave. Drive to New York and be happy. He just had to wait another… twenty four minutes. The clock on the wall _had_ to be wrong. Did he set it back correctly when he tried to convince Dwight he was an hour late for work yesterday? Nope, computer time confirmed it. Twenty four minutes.

God, he loved that man.

* * *

><p><em>"Ryan, this is my roommate Mark. Mark, Ryan." Jim announced, introducing the two of them and turning behind him to reach for another Heinekin, he twisted off the cap and handed it to him with a casual smile, a look in his brown eyes lingered for a few seconds longer than they had to before Ryan returned an awkward smile and began talking to Mark.<em>

_It wasn't too long before Ryan had polished off the beer and started another, the whole time deeply involved in an intense discussion about sports with Mark. For a few brief moments he would forget about being in his house, talking to his friend, drinking his beer and actually enjoy himself. _

_As he stared into the man's face, all he could think, was Mark in fact Jim's boyfriend? Did he suck his dick too? Probably not. It was obvious to a few people in the office that Jim was in love with Pam. Most people didn't give a shit enough about them to really notice, Ryan thought he was one of those people, he wanted to be so badly. Maybe because Jim and Pam were the same age as him? Maybe because he thought Pam was cute? Maybe because he thought Jim was?_

_What was it about Jim? Fucking Jim! What the hell was he doing to him? When did he go from the straight laced, egghead who worked fulltime while studying constantly, to the loser who gets a blowjob from another man, a co-worker no less, in a dirty toilet on a cruise ship? It had been over a month, but it was all he could think about. He would masturbate to it, he would replay it in his mind. It wasn't healthy. He didn't even like Jim. The one and only reason he was at this party was because if he was the only person from the office not to show up, Jim would notice. Being here tonight had been carefully planned to every last detail. If he showed up, Jim would have no choice but to accept that the blowjob on the booze cruise was the absolute farthest thing from his mind. All he had to do was act as he normally did, keep to himself, make some small talk. Just act like he normally would. Maybe even ask about giving Katy a call… Or would that come off too weird? No. No it wouldn't. _

_By 10:30, Michael had already driven pretty much everyone out. Leaving only Jim, Ryan, Mark, Kevin and of course, Michael himself in the lounge room taking turns at multiplayer Halo. Maybe now would be a good time to make his escape. But if he left now, Michael would undoubtedly leave with him. He couldn't think of what was worse? Being alone with Jim, or being alone with Michael? Definitely the latter. At least he was attracted to Jim. _

_Unfortunately Kevin and Michael left just before 11:00, leaving the three guys alone. Ryan stood up to get his coat when Mark pulled a bag of weed out of his jacket pocket, both guys on the couch encouraged him to stay, or as Jim put it "hang out with the cool kids." He laughed and rolled himself a joint, surprised that he remembered how to. Maybe this didn't have to be weird at all? Maybe he could just be friends with Jim. If he wanted him to stay, maybe he just wanted to write the blowjob off as a drunken fluke and just hang out? He did invite him._

_Soon enough they were left alone in a cloudy room after Mark decided to pass out. It was now well after midnight, almost 1:00. Jim and Ryan were pretty baked by now. It was nice, he hadn't been stoned in years. There was plenty of weed to go around, lots to drink, plenty o' munchies and some nice barbeque, and Jim had just turned on his Nirvana CD. It was like college all over again. Ryan felt like that special kind of wasted, too fucked up to drive, but sane enough to make sense. He loved that feeling._

"_Do you do this a lot? Get stoned?" he asked, blowing a ring and smiling. Shit, there are some skills you never forget._

"_Not really. Getting stoned alone sucks, Mark trips out too much. I don't like to do it unless I'm in the company of interesting people." Jim smirked._

"_Thanks." he replied, wondering if the compliment was a little more than a compliment. "You're pretty fucked up aren't you?"_

_"Uh-huh." Jim mumbled, leaning his head back to rest, arching his neck and exhaling a large cloud of smoke._

_Ryan loosened up and wondered how his shoes came off, more importantly, where they went? He then looked to Jim to ask a question "Why did you and Katy break up?"_

_Jim laughed "C'mon man, don't get all heavy on me now."_

_"No really. She was fucking hot. Definitely hotter than Pam-" Crap, he shouldn't have said that. He was getting into a rough territory here, asking about Jim's romantic life. He was going to be caught. "Shit. I'm sorry dude."_

_Jim shot him a knowing look, he had finally been caught out by someone. It had to happen some time. "Am I that obvious?"_

_Ryan changed his tone to a sympathetic one. "To me, yes. Maybe to Angela and Phyllis too."_

_"But not to her."_

"_You're in love with her aren't you?"_

_"Yeah. Yeah, I am." Jim replied. It actually felt nice to reveal that to someone, anyone. He must be pretty wasted. "What about you? Any girlfriends? Chicks must fall all over the suits and education."_

_"You'd think so. Not really. I don't have time for that shit in my life, and I know people always say that because they're too lame to find someone so they try to convince themselves that they're happy alone. But I can't work fulltime, study fulltime and date." Ryan replied, desperately trying to play himself off as a hard working stud. _

"_So you never get laid? Join the club."_

"_When I have some free time, sure. I hook up."_

_"I don't." Jim replied, sitting up straight, realizing he really wanted to jack off. _

"_Yeah, you just blow dudes in the toilet." Ryan let out a long laugh, stopping when he didn't hear Jim joining in. "That was supposed to be funny."_

_Jim smiled and moved closer, pulling off his sweater and revealing his bare chest. Ryan didn't know wether to kiss him or not. He had such beautiful lips, so he leaned in, only for Jim to pull his head back slightly, subtly indicating that such a gesture was unacceptable. Fine. He was okay with that. Jim had already seen what he had to offer, now he wanted to see what Jim had, pressing his palm firmly on Jim's jeans and feeling his hard cock through the constricting denim. _

_Somehow, they ended up upstairs in Jim's room. Ryan in his boxers, and Jim still in his jeans. Jim kept placing hot, wet kisses up and down his chest. He wondered why Jim would allow himself to kiss his body, but he wouldn't allow him to kiss Jim on the lips. He wasn't going to push it. _

"_I must be pretty fucked up." Ryan moaned as Jim straddled him and pressed his crotch harder into him, he spread his knees around Ryan's hips and began unbuckling his own belt. _

_He stopped after he pulled them down around his thighs, leaving only the imprint of his stiff cock in his underwear. Jim leaned across the bed and flicked off the lamp on the side table. "Ryan, we're both fucked up. We both know what we're doing and we want this. Stop qualifying it every damn time and just fuck me."_

"_Okay."_

_Ryan reached his hands into the confines of Jim's underwear. He sat up slightly and worked the man for a full minute and Jim moaned wildly. There was no point in pulling Jim out of his underwear yet, the room was pitch black. It's not like he could see anything anyway._

_Jim took hold of Ryan's wrist and regretfully removed it from his member. He took Ryan's wrists in his hands and pinned them to the top of the mattress. _

"_You sure you want to do this? This is more than a blowjob."_

_He thought about it for a moment. As much as he did want this. He couldn't do it. Jim was using him to scratch an itch, to get over Pam. They were stoned and he knew he'd regret it in the morning. "This is a bad idea."_

"_Yeah. It probably is."_

_They both laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling. Jim really wanted to fuck him, then and there. It took every inch of will power he had to keep his hands to himself. _

"_I should go." Ryan said after a minute. He sat up and swung his legs off the quickly flicked on the lamp again. _

_He looked up at Ryan, panicked, face full of worry "You're not driving anywhere, you're way too fucked up. Just crash here."_

_"Alright." he replied with a sigh. He picked up his pants off the floor and headed for the door._

"_Where are you going?" Jim asked, wanting the man to stay with him._

_"To the couch."_

_Jim smirked "Ryan, you were just giving me a hand job, sleeping in my bed is suddenly a problem?"_

_Ryan returned the smile, he dropped his pants and climbed back into the bed. Jim's underwear was down around his thighs, he could see the man was still hard, so was he. He couldn't get his mind around the recent turn of events. But he didn't want to get dressed either. "So things are going to totally be awkward now aren't they?"_

_"Probably. When we wake up totally hung over." Jim laughed and took his jeans off before tucking his boner back into his underwear. He gave Ryan a pillow, shooting one last smile and switched off the light."I'll see you in a month."_

_"Jim?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_It bothered him. It really did. Why wouldn't Jim let him? What was wrong with him? He wanted to so badly._

"_Can I kiss you?" he whispered as he leaned in closer to Jim's face, ready to pull back at any moment. Jim took a moment, then placed a hand on Ryan's bare shoulder. It felt oddly comforting, Ryan felt better at that moment, he didn't understand why. He hoped that maybe Jim saw something in him. Anything._

"_Okay."_

_Jim opened his mouth slightly and pressed his lips to Ryan's. He tasted like pot and vodka and coke. Ryan was surprised at how many different tastes he could identify. His tongue crawled into his mouth slowly and moved around. He was a great kisser. Both men began to breathe through their noses faster and faster. Neither wanting to release, but it soon grew too hard to fight the desperation for oxygen. _

_They panted in each other's faces. After another twenty seconds, they went right back to work. _

_Half an hour later he was still in a state of half sleep. He hated when his body wouldn't pass out and his mind stayed stoned. He was jerked completely out of the little amount of sleep his body would allow him by the slight, whimpering moans and heavy pants coming from the man beside him. He could hear the unmistakable sound of Jim masturbating. He wished the light was on so he could watch the man, only managing to make out slight glimpses of Jim's face in the moonlight. _

_His own hand travelled down to his pants, he knew Jim knew. He allowed himself to breath louder and make a few extremely soft moans, just enough to get Jim going, encouraging the man to finish, even though he never wanted it to end. _

_Jim came within a few minutes, groaning slightly. He removed his underwear and used it to wipe the semen off his chest. When he couldn't hear Jim anymore, he knew he had finished, it was enough to turn Ryan on, to bring him closer to orgasm. He kept stoking, faster and faster. Suddenly he felt warm breath in his face and a soft hand running through his hair. He wanted to confirm this, make sure he wasn't just stoned or dreaming. Ryan reached a hand forward to touch what he hoped was Jim's bare hip, moving it down slightly and confirming it, feeling the bushy pubic hair and the warm, wet, cock head. _

_Jim leaned his face in closer to Ryan's, then picked up his head and started breathing and moaning into his ear as he presumably played with himself a little more. _

"_Jim-"_

"_Shhh," he whispered, "Do it. Let it go."_

"_Where?"_

_"Blankets, don't worry about it. I want you to."_

_He did easily, allowing himself to moan without worrying about anyone hearing him. He knew he had definitely shot Jim with the load, and completely stained his blankets and mattress. Ryan felt Jim roll back before he handed him what he assumed was his underwear and he wiped his hand on it. _

_Rolling onto his front, he slowly worked himself into the mattress, moving his crotch into the firm cushioning in slow circles. He fell asleep as he told himself he was doing it because Jim would have wanted him to._

* * *

><p>Jim's phone finally started to ring. He knew who it was, not only was he expecting the call, but he had personally customised his ring to play the Superman theme whenever Ryan would call, he knew it'd make him laugh. He smiled and flipped his phone open, keeping an eye on the road and pressing the loudspeaker button. "Hey. What took you so long?"<p>

_"Shit, sorry, sorry, my fucking phone died. I hate this stupid Blackberry." _Ryan gasped, frustrated that he hadn't been able to call earlier. Everytime one of them would drive to visit the other, they would speak on the phone. Breaking the tradition seemed odd.

"Weren't you the one bending my ear off about ditching my flip for one? I think I still have the one you forced on all of us."

"_You should, just keep the warranty in case the damn battery has a life of two hours. I just got home. By the way, six missed calls? Since five? Someone seems a bit eager to hear my voice." _

Jim grinned, "_Someone_ said they'd call me back."

_"Where are you now?"_

"I just hit New Jersey." he replied with anticipation, letting the realization dawn on him that he wouldn't be travelling back in three days.

"_Almost here. I made the reservations for nine, figured it gives you enough time to settle in."_

"You want to fuck around don't you?"

_"C'mon, it's been a week since I saw you last."_

"Too long. How much space to you have to breathe in there?"

_"Well, our lounge room is now just boxes, good thing I tivo'd the Apprentice."_

"Our lounge room?"

"_Yes Jim, it's your apartment now too."_

"Do apartments have lounge rooms?"

_"Fine, the area with the couch."_

"That's better. Don't be looking through my shit."

_"Damn, I was just about to start looking for the porn on your laptop. What's your password?"_

Jim smiled, he was going to reveal his password. It was amusing that after all the time they had been together, there were still fun, new things to learn about each other. "Schrute."

"_C'mon, it is not." _Ryan laughed.

"Try it."

_"Okay, I lied. It's still in the box."_

"I'm gonna miss him."

_"You're a fucking freak. Should I be jealous?"_

Jim had just started to slow down at a set of lights until a cab quickly sped up in the next lane, without even turning the blinker on, it veered into his lane in front of him and slammed the breaks, causing Jim to slam on his own, quickly checking his rear vision mirror. "Shit!"

_"What?" _Ryan asked, concerned.

"Nothing, I almost fucked a taxi up the ass. I hope there are some competent drivers in New York."

_"Did you flip him off? Scream at him?"_

The light turned green and the cab was off, immediately chopping and changing lanes in an attempt to race every vehicle on the road. Jim wished Ryan had given him the advice a few seconds earlier.

"No."

_"You're a New Yorker now, you're going to have to learn to do that."_

"So I can be a yuppie like you?"

_"Exactly."_

"You've been there for nine months. Is that long enough to make you a New Yorker?"

"_Well, I've seen a blind guy play with himself on the subway, had a rat jump off a ceiling beam onto my head in a coffee shop, I've been verbally abused by an old lady, threatened by a nun and mugged by a hobo."_

Memories of a spectacular New York night came flashing back to Jim.

The two men had decided to go for a walk around the city at night. It amazed Jim how much Ryan had learnt about the metropolis in such a short amount of time. He already knew the hot spots, the great neighbourhoods, the fantastic places to eat - he favoured the ones that served alcohol with breakfast. It was a noisy, Saturday night. Ryan lived in a great old brownstone on the West side. They avoided Central Park, Ryan said 'anyone with a fucking brain would stay out on a Saturday night unless they wanted to be sold into slave labour.'

It was great, they ate dinner in a trendy pizzeria in the Village and got drinks in the meat packing district. The walk home was nice, Jim held his hand as they walked past strangers who didn't care enough to give them a second glance. It felt freeing to let their walls down and walk down the street affectionately. Jim let his head rest on Ryan's shoulder. Nothing could ruin the moment. That was until a homeless man started screaming insane ramblings about his electric toilet, creeping Jim out but making Ryan chuckle as they picked up the pace and walked a little faster. Out of nowhere the man ripped the beanie off Ryan's head and ran with it, causing Jim to laugh out loud hysterically. "Oh c'mon it was just your beanie. That was so funny."

"_No it wasn't it scared the shit out of me."_

"Then you ran after him. I almost pissed my pants."

"_Yeah thanks for your help, you just stood there laughing."_

"Best! Night! Ever!"

* * *

><p><em>He should have just kept his head down and continued to walk to his car. He didn't know what exactly he was hoping to accomplish. Maybe he just wanted to talk to him, or spend some time with him - get a beer? Whatever. Jim was the one who awkwardly asked him if things were still going on with him and Kelly. He figured he was just trying to reciprocate as Jim was the first to start communicating again. Just like the first time, they kind of hooked up and went back to awkwardly avoiding each other after Jim's barbeque. This time he had started to push it out of his mind and forget about it - try and focus on Kelly. For the most part it worked, until Jim opened his mouth. Back to square one.<em>

_Why was he walking out of the office building instead of the warehouse? Maybe he left his phone inside? He called out Jim's name and rushed over. Jim had been crying. No doubt something to do with Pam. _

"_Hey."_

_"Hey."_

_Maybe it was a bad idea. It wasn't like Ryan to ask about people's personal problems._ "_You okay?"_

"_No."_

_"Do you wanna get a beer with me?"_

_Jim pondered the question for a minute, before cocking his head and setting his jaw. He took a deep sigh._ "_You drunk?"_

_"No?"_

_"Me either."_

_Jim quickly looked around the almost empty parking lot. Satisfied that no one would see he lunged forward and grabbed Ryan by the collar of his shirt, pushing him into his car and covering his mouth with his own. Jim moaned into Ryan's mouth, the smaller man could feel how rock hard Jim was when he pressed in._

"_You know what? I want to cut the shit. I don't want to get a beer. I want to fuck you." Jim panted, gasping for breath._

_Damn, he wanted this so badly. Why did it take him so long? This was exactly what he needed. "My place is ten minutes away."_

"_Okay, I'll follow you."_

* * *

><p><em>Ryan parked on the driveway. Jim parked on the street. They both stepped out of their cars and didn't look at each other as they both walked to the front door Ryan was desperately trying to unlock. He fumbled with his keys for a moment which made Jim groan in anticipation.<em>

_He held the door open for Jim as he walked in. The second it was closed he was already pushed up against the wall. A moment later his pants were around his ankles, he kicked off his shoes, pants and underwear as Jim removed his own._

_It happened. It finally happened. They were both standing naked together, their bodies pressing and touching into each other in that unmistakable way. The feeling of Jim's penis pressed into his own was exhilarating._

_Jim went straight to work gnawing at his neck while Ryan's unsteady arm felt around for the light switch. Suddenly the hallway was illuminated and he could see Jim's… everything. No more blowjob/hand job bullshit. This was really happening. _

_The next thing he knew, they were on his bed, he stood on all fours as Jim sat behind him, jerking himself off and finger fucking him. It took a quarter bottle of lube for the pain to subside._

"_You ready?" Jim asked fervidly, reaching around and taking a firm grip on Ryan's cock. _

_He felt amazing, so hot and turned on. Jim was bigger and taller than him. He had never had sex with anyone like that, the thought alone made him want to come right there, but Jim wouldn't have any of that. He was going to take his time, make what would be an awkward one night stand into an all night fuck fest. If it was going to make both men uncomfortable and awkward in the morning, they may as well at least have a good fucking night. _

"_Yeah, just-just go slowly. I've never done this before," Ryan whispered. _

_It felt okay, good, mostly just awkward and in no way as painful as he thought it would…_

"_Fuuuuuuuck! Jim… oh shit!"_

"_You okay?"_

"_Yeah-fuck! Are you in yet?"_

"_Halfway."_

_It was pretty painful. Overwhelming sensations of pleasure and pain mixed together to create a feeling that was just weird. Ryan had tears clinging to the corners of his eyes. He should have let Jim put the condom on, maybe that would have helped, for some reason he didn't want Jim wearing one. He figured he wanted to feel Jim come in him. _

_After two minutes of sheer agony, Jim began to moan and groan so loud Ryan wondered if the neighbours would hear. He stopped worrying when he heard the moans get louder and louder, when he realized they were his as well. Suddenly it started to feel good. Really, really, REALLY good. His arms were bending behind him and feeling Jim's firm ass, his huge shoulders, his smooth neck with a hint of stubble, his perfectly square jaw, his soft brown hair. He craned his neck and kissed him, continuing to kiss through out, never stopping. The feeling of Jim's big cock inside his ass, mixed with the taste of his beautiful lips was sensational. Definitely in Ryan's top five. Jim's hand reached back for Ryan's cock and squeezed it like a stress ball, jerking slowly, keeping him hard and pleasured without making him come. Top three._

_Jim broke their kiss for a second to press into Ryan's ear as he picked up the pace. "You're so fucking tight."_

"_Fuck me Jim!"_

"_You're gonna make me come."_

"_Slow it down then. Don't come yet."_

"_Okay." Jim whispered, both men wanted nothing more then to shoot their loads and feel that extra tingly, warm sensation. Of course that would mean they would be done. Neither man wanted that. "Kiss me."_

_Ryan did as he was told. So did Jim, slowing it down. His hips bucked forward slowly as Ryan moved up and down. He laughed into Jim's mouth when he heard his balls slap against his own. _

"_I wanted this for so long Jim."_

_"Me too."_

_It was all Jim needed to hear to make his hand move faster up and down Ryan's cock. He had the man so worked up that precome was dripping down it, acting as a lube, making his hand feel extra sticky and wet. Jim's thumb started striking Ryan's tip and making him moan louder and louder._

"_Stop."_

_"What?"_

_"Stop jerking me off. Do it slowly or I'll shoot."_

"_Don't shoot officer."_

_Ryan laughed breathlessly, he felt a hot wash of passion all over him. Jim was stunning, his beautiful body drenched in perspiration and shining in the light of the bedroom. His hands were so big and they moved and touched Ryan in all the right places. He was so strong and big… his free hand ran along the inside of Ryan's smooth thigh… His grip was so tight… The need to come had never felt so intense. It was going to happen. _

"_I'm gonna come." Ryan moaned into a long whine, cringing at his voice and the way he must have looked. "Fuck me harder Jim!"_

_Ryan clenched, refusing to stop. He squeezed his ass as tight as he could. If he was going down, Jim was going down with him. He hoped it would work. _

"_FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Jim screamed, a few drops of saliva spat from his mouth as he groaned._

_It obviously worked._

_Ryan came in Jim's hand, he watched as he shot his load over his comforter and mattress cover, he panted heavily as he felt Jim's fist tighten and continue moving up and down at a fast pace. He watched his own come drip and pool in Jim's hand. Despite the mess he had already made, he hoped Jim wouldn't wipe it on the bed. _

_He snapped back to the pounding sensation in his ass and the groans that left him with a tingly feeling in his ear. Jim was so loud and he loved it. _

"_Goddamnit Ryan! Awww fuck! Shit!"_

_It only took seconds for Jim to come. Ryan felt the load fill him up. It was unlike anything he had every felt before. He was thankful for it. _

_He was also thankful that Jim didn't pull out immediately, or release the firm grip. He craned his neck again and captured Jim's mouth. Jim did release him and ran his hand through the patch of Ryan's pubic hair, brushing it lightly, then moving it up to the small patch of chest hair, running his hand up and down the man's torso and crotch as if trying to memorize the feeling. Ryan reached his hands around to Jim's hips, the man was still inside of him and he continued to rock into Jim's lap. Eventually causing Jim's half erect cock to fall out._

_What now? He didn't know wether to sleep, or shower. If he went for a shower would Jim join him or go to sleep? Or would he leave? He wanted to shower, he was covered in come and his ass was smeared with lube. But the only move he could think was to lay down, too hot to pull the covers up. _

_Jim sat on the foot of the bed for a moment, regaining his composure and breath. Surely they had to talk about what happened. Didn't they? Did it matter? Ryan then sat back up with his back to the headboard. "You can stay the night if you're too tired to drive."_

"_Thanks," Jim murmered._

_It suddenly occurred to Ryan that the man had been waiting for an invitation. Obviously unsure of what procedure he was to follow. He crawled into the bed and covered himself, Ryan flicked off the lamp. _

"_Why did you ask me if I was drunk?"_

"_What?"_

_"In the parking lot, earlier. I asked you if you wanted to get a beer and you asked me if I was drunk. Why?"_

"_Because I didn't want our actions to be blamed on being drunk."_

_"Why did it matter?" asked Ryan, knowing the answer would bother him._

_"It's what Pam tried to do." Jim replied, cringing his face as he thought back to earlier that night._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"I told Pam how I felt, that I loved her. Then I kissed her. Then she said we were probably just drunk. I can't believe she is really going to marry that loser."_

_Ryan was unsure of what to say to Jim's sudden confession, which was way too much then he asked for. He couldn't think of much else to say besides, "What can you do about it? It's her choice."_

"_I'm transferring to Stamford."_

_Ryan gaped. He didn't understand why the fuck Jim was letting the woman run his god damn life. "All because of Pam?"_

_"I can't be around her anymore. Not anymore, now that I've well and truly fucked myself."_

_Ryan attempted a joke to lighten the mood and the conversation which had grown considerably sadder. "At least things won't be awkward between us."_

"_I guess."_

"_If you're in love with Pam… What are you doing with me?"_

_Jim suddenly squirmed and picked his head up off the mattress. "I didn't think you were looking for a commitment or-"_

_"No. That's not what I mean. How can you be in love with someone and have sex with someone else? Without thinking about them?"_

"_I don't know. How do you do it with Kelly?"_

_"I'm not in love with Kelly, despite what she tells anyone, she is **not** my girlfriend, and we are **not** dating."_

"_Fair enough."_

_A sudden realization dawned on him. "I get it though, kind of like trying to escape your pain with someone you don't have feelings for."_

"_I do have feelings for you Ryan. But they're confusing, I don't understand what they are or what they mean."_

_Ryan blushed, thankful the lights were off, relieved that Jim didn't see, but he liked where this conversation was leading. Suddenly, he wanted to hear Jim talk about his feelings for him. He wanted Jim to **have** feelings for him, so he decided to push it. "I don't get it."_

_"I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick."_

_"Try."_

"_You're a nice guy. I think you're cool. But… you're a distraction from the person I'm in love with."_

"_You're right. You sounded like kind of a dick." Ryan smiled. _

_Of course Jim couldn't see this, his tone immediately changed, he sounded sincere and remorseful. _

_"I'm sorry."_

_"It's okay. I was kidding."_

_"If it's any conciliation, I noticed you when you started working with us. I always wanted to get to know you better, I think you're pretty cool."_

"_Too bad we wont get to."_

_"I'll see you around from time to time."_

_"What? The company picnic? I doubt temps get invited to those."_

_"I'm sure Michael will swing an invitation for 'Hottest in the Office'."_

_"You think you'll make the 2007 Dundies?"_

"_Doubt it."_

_"Aw, rats."_

_They laid in silence for a few seconds. Too much shit had happened that night, Jim wasn't about to go to sleep anytime soon. He felt like numbing himself. He turned on the lamp. "What time is it?"_

_"I don't know. I'm guessing around eleven."_

_"Poor Richards is open till two on Friday's. You still want to get that beer?"_

_"I've got vodka and gin in the kitchen. Unless you wanna go?"_

_Jim smiled, "I'll stay if you make good coffee." he said mischievously. He liked that after having his heart broken, Ryan could make him feel better, wanted.  
><em>

_"I'm a temp. Who do you think refills the coffee machine all day?"_

_"Good. It's a deal."_

_Ryan smiled, sat up and swung his legs off the bed. "You think you'll be ready to go for another round anytime soon?"_

_"After I've had a drink."_

* * *

><p>The great thing about Ryan's block, there was plenty of space to park. He wondered if he should sell his car? How many people in Manhattan actually owned cars? Still on the phone, he unlocked the door to the building and entered. "Okay. I'm in the lobby. Hanging up now."<p>

The building didn't have an elevator, so he ran up four flights of stairs, reaching the door that had 4D on the front, only to find Ryan already waiting in the door. They smiled at each other and ran into a deep embrace. Squeezing each other so tightly as if they would never see each other again. Jim kissed him."Hey."

Ryan smiled, feeling his hands across Jim's jaw, marvelling at the sight before him. "You're here. Fuck. You're actually here to stay now."

"Here," Jim said. He smiled as they walked inside _their_ apartment. Jim kissed Ryan on the back of the head and wrapped an arm tightly around his neck. He closed his eyes and pressed his face to the back of the smaller man's head. "You okay?"

"I'm great," Ryan sighed. "You're here now."

"I missed you so much."

"Me too."

"I really hate to ruin this moment," Jim smirked, cupping Ryan's ass with his free hand.

"But?" Ryan asked slyly, feeling himself grow hard.

"But you need to let me go so I can start taking your clothes off."

"Bout fucking time. It's my turn remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

* * *

><p><em>"What are we doing?" Ryan asked as he took another drag from the joint. A deep drag. He passed it behind him to the man tangled in his own legs. <em>

_Jim took a long hit and exhaled. His lips teased by placing hot kisses and slick licks across the back of Ryan's neck. Amused by the way the man would never tense up or squirm. "We're getting stoned together."_

"_I meant what are we doing?" he asked, rolling over and taking the joint that was offered to him. They took turns, Jim didn't drool. It was nice, peaceful. "This is the third time since you've come back from Stamford. I think we need to talk about it."_

_"I think you're stoned Ryan," Jim laughed, planting a small kiss on his lips to receive another smile. Satisfied, he leaned in again and covered Ryan's open mouth with his own. He loved kissing Ryan. He loved his taste, especially when he tasted like weed. "Do we really need to label this?"_

_"You have a girlfriend."_

_"__**You**__ have a girlfriend." Jim reminded. His guilt for cheating on Karen weighed on him after the first time, but as long as he was in love with Pam he was kind of cheating on her anyway right? Pam didn't want him. Karen did, but he didn't love her. Ryan was the perfect balance. He liked him. He liked what he could do to him. "I'm not a good person am I?"_

_"You're not a bad person either."_

"_Yes I am. I have a girlfriend, I have feelings for someone else, all the while I'm having sex with someone who is in a relationship."_

"_Why don't you end things with Karen?"_

"_I think I will. It's not fair to her."_

"_Then what?" Ryan asked, his gaze drifted down to their feet, their toes were playing with each others. He stopped while Jim kept going. "You going to try again with Pam?"_

"_I don't know," Jim sighed. Deciding to end his relationship with Karen was at least one weight off his shoulders, what to do with Pam was still making him sink. "Part of me thinks we are just meant to be friends, that I'm misinterpreting things. Thinking about it honestly, I want to be with her, but if we were to get together… I just can't really see it anymore."_

_Ryan summoned the courage to ask the question he had been wondering all afternoon. Jim had a sales call that would take half the day. It pissed him off when everyone would give Ryan a hard time for not making a single sale._

_Jim remembered back to when he started, at the bright young age of 23, how frustrating it was to pick up the phone and make a sale. With time it got easier, but at the start it was hard, really hard. He decided to take Ryan, even if it meant losing half the commission on the sale. He thought of it like a present. First sale, nice commission and something to shut the assholes up. _

_Of course they nailed the sale. Jim did most of the talking, but Ryan proved himself to stand on his own two feet. Maybe it was the confidence or having Jim there, maybe it was because someone had confidence in him, but Ryan definitely held his own and proved to be an invaluable asset to the closing of the deal. Jim didn't think of it as a favour anymore. _

_The drive to and from the office was long and surprisingly not awkward. It was as if they hadn't been routinely having sex every few months for just over a year. They talked and joked. Jim gave him as many pointers as possible without making the already anxious man overwhelmed. He was a good mentor. He offered Ryan to come out on a few more sales calls with him. Convincing both of them that it would be like taking baby steps until he could manage on his own. Ryan was more than happy to accept the offer. Jim was pleased, although all the reasons were true, one he left out was his desire to spend more time with the man. Which was why he asked Ryan if he wanted to get a beer after work when they arrived. Ryan smiled and quickly accepted the invitation. _

_It was code. He knew it, Ryan knew it. The day Michael locked everyone in the conference room to teach them a lesson about prison, Ryan and Jim 'went out for a beer' the day Ben Franklin came to the office they 'went out for a beer'. Now here they were again. _

"_I'm starting to…" Ryan breathed, stopping himself, hesitating, then starting again. "Okay, look. I'm starting to think about you more and more. It's like I've got a thing for you."_

"_Really?" Jim smiled coyly.  
><em>

_"Don't make a big deal about it. All I'm saying is I like you, like, a lot."_

"_I think… I like you," Jim whispered, smiling and stroking a lock of hair out of the smaller man's face. "I want to spend more time with you."_

_"That why you asked me to go on that sales call with you next week?" Ryan asked, grinning like an idiot._

"_Yes. I don't know, I've just been thinking about you for a while now. I'm not saying I want to date or anything. I just-kinda think we owe it to each other to just… hang out some more, see each other outside of work a bit."_

_"Finally get around to getting that beer?"_

_"Exactly. Get a beer, see a movie, have more sex."_

_Ryan laughed, "I appreciate it Jim. I do. But you're in love with Pam. I don't want to start anything with you and just end up the way your about to make Karen end up."_

"_I'm not in love with Pam, I have feelings for her. As far as you and I are concerned, I can't really explain it, probably because I don't understand why… But I like you more than Karen. I've liked you for years now. Think of it like a… trial?"_

"_I'll think about it," Ryan mumbled, wondering if this was something he would really do? Spend more time with a man in hopes of it leading to a relationship that would eventually crumble because of his love for someone else. Still. It was better than whatever the fuck he had with Kelly._

* * *

><p>They laid in peace for several minutes after making love. Jim laid on his back with an arm around the man he loved. Ryan laid on his side with one arm wrapped around the pillow beneath his head, the other laid across Jim's chest.<p>

Jim picked up his hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. "Do you still want to go out?"

"Can we just lye here a bit longer?" Ryan asked softly with a smile.

"Yeah. C'mere." Jim sat up, pulling Ryan into his chest with him. "Everything okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, yeah." he assured, lifting a hand to lovingly run through Jim's mess of a hair. "I just-just can't believe you're really here. You came here for me. That's just… fantastic."

"I said I was serious about you. I meant it." Jim reminded, feeling so at peace with everything. "I'm just happy to be here finally, with you."

"You have no idea what it means to me." Ryan replied, sounding so warm and soft and loving. It didn't take him long to revert to his usual goofish ways. "Y'know now that you're all corporate and grown up like me-"

"You're a grown up?"

"Yes I am. Anyway, like I was saying, new job, you're going to need to look corporate-_y_ now."

Jim faked taking offence and dropped his jaw sarcastically. "I don't look corporate enough?"

Ryan giggled and pressed the tip of his nose into Jim's "What were you planning on wearing? Your usual white shirt with your sleeves rolled up and scruffy hair?"

He bumped his forehead against Ryan's "You like my scruffy hair, you told me so."

"Yeah I do," he admitted, accepting defeat knowing Jim was perfect.

"I'd borrow some of your clothes but I can't fit into clothes bought from baby gap."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you back."

"It's not going to be weird is it? I mean, you'll be my boss now."

"I've been your boss for a year now."

"Yeah, but now we'll be working at the same branch."

"You don't have to work for Dunder Mifflin anymore if you don't want to." Ryan said. He hated to admit that Jim had a point, he didn't want the man to feel uncomfortable in any way working, and answering directly to him. "There's a lot out there, with your sales experience you'd have your pick at jobs."

"And throw away my awesome new salary?"

"I just want you to know that I was holding that job for you because you deserve it. Wallace knows about us and even he signed off on it. It's not because you're good at blowing your boss."

"So you're saying I didn't have to whore myself out to get my promotion? I think we should see other people."

"Bite me."

* * *

><p><em>Ryan hung up the phone. His heart was racing. He closed his eyes and took it all in. Realizing this was the greatest, most accomplished he'd ever felt in his life. Vice President. VICE FUCKING PRESIDENT! AWESOME!<em>

_What about Jim?_

_What __**about **__Jim?_

_They had only been officially dating for three months. No one even knew about it besides them. Was three months long enough to call someone a boyfriend? He smiled to himself, it felt nice to have someone. But it didn't matter. Didn't it? He certainly couldn't renege on his dream job offer because of Jim._

_He didn't know how this was going to resolve itself, but one way or another it would. It was the best place to start. _

_Ryan walked out of the annex and to kitchen. He smiled, a big, dorky smile, wondering if it was the excitement of being offered his dream job on a silver platter, or just the smile Jim was shooting him. They stared at each other through the door and Ryan motioned his head for Jim to come over. He did. _

"_Hey um, can you please come over tonight? Around six?"_

_"Yeah sure. Everything okay? We still catching the movie?"_

_"Shit. I totally forgot."_

_"Do you want to reschedule?"_

_"Just come over after work so we'll have enough time to catch the movie."_

_Jim smiled, he took a quick glance to make sure no one was watching, then placed a quick, soft, closed mouth kiss on Ryan's lips, making the smaller man blush brightly. "Cya then."_

"_Fuck!"_

* * *

><p><em>"So what's the emergency?" Jim asked when Ryan opened the door. He was changed out of his work clothes, jeans and a black tshirt. Casual, simple enough to wear if their plans had changed and they were hanging out at home, good enough to wear to the movies if that was the plan. Jim didn't know anymore. Either way he got to spend time with Ryan. <em>

_Ryan kissed him and let him inside. He liked the way Jim would casually stroll to the kitchen and open his fridge to retrieve a beer for him and himself. It felt comfortable and familiar. _

_Jim, like always twisted off the cap before handing the cool bottle to Ryan who sat down at the counter as Jim leaned over it, raising the bottle to his lips. _

"_I just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying this… us."_

"_That's all? You couldn't wait to tell me that?" Jim smirked._

"_No. That's not all," Ryan said, how could he say what he wanted to. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He deserved to. This was huge. But what about Jim? "I got the VP job. David wants me to start in three weeks."_

_Jim's face dropped. As soon as he heard the news he thought Ryan was joking, then he didn't. He wanted to congratulate him. He wanted to be proud. "That's great Ryan. Really, it's an amazing opportunity… What about us?"_

_Ryan smiled, hoping he could convince Jim. "I don't know. I know it's only been three months, but I really like where we're going. I was kind of hoping you'd move with me to New York?"_

_"I can't do that," he responded immediately, almost too quickly._

"_What? Why not?"_

"_Because my life is here Ryan. Like you said, it's only been three months."_

"_This sucks. I know. I can't ask you to give up your life for me, but I can't turn down this job for you."_

"_I know. I don't want you to."_

"_Can we make it work? I mean, we can talk on the phone, we can skype. Weekends?"_

_"It's two hours both ways."_

_He felt hurt and bruised, suddenly his new career didn't look so great. He never once considered what would happen to Jim if he applied for the job, he really didn't think he'd get it. But he did. _

"_I don't want this to be over. It's like, for the first time, in a really long time I feel like I have someone I can… I don't know."_

_Jim reached his hand out across the counter and took Ryan's. "I really like you. But I can't commit to a phone relationship. Maybe if we were together longer-"_

"_We could have been! If you pulled your head out of your ass and stopped re-arranging your life for fucking Pam, who I'd like to add, you were never in a relationship with!" Ryan screamed, suddenly unleashing his full wrath on Jim._

_He was furious! It was unfair, but if Jim cared about him the same way he cared about Jim, he'd want to move, he'd do everything in his power to stay together, not turn his back at the mere suggestion of a long distance relationship without so much as a second thought. He turned in his chair and walked to the lounge room with Jim following, keeping it going. _

"_Hey!" Jim snapped, suddenly angry. "We discussed this! I don't have feelings for Pam! Don't bring her up between us!"_

_He reached an arm around and grabbed Ryan's shoulder, stopping and spinning him around._

"_Why? You were perfectly happy to move to Stamford to get away from her, but the possibility of transferring to New York to be with me is out of the question? Remember, we're actually together!" Ryan snarled, raising his voice and arms in manic hand gestures._

_Ryan had never seen Jim angry before, he had never seen him so much as raise his voice. Then he realized they were having their first argument. It got sadder when he realized this would be their last argument. _

_Jim sighed, "Look, I care about you. I do. But I can't throw away everything I've begin to build here again. We haven't been together long enough to know if we will make it for life." he choked._

"_I don't want to lose you." _

"_Neither do I."_

_"Then can we at least try long distance?"_

_"It won't work Ryan, we both know that. Do you really think three months is enough to guarantee long term commitment?"_

_Jim pulled Ryan in for a kiss, never letting go. Ryan grunted in his mouth once or twice. Jim was pulling his hair and feeling up and down his chest. He knew what this meant, but the thought of having sex right now was too much to bear. He was too distraught. He broke the kiss and removed Jim from him, holding him by the shoulders. _

"_We're not going to work are we?"_

_"No. I don't think we are."_

_"So that's it then?"_

_"I guess so," Jim whispered, "I'm really happy for you. I'm going to miss you."_

_Ryan pulled him in for a tight embrace as Jim nestled his head on Ryan's shoulder._

_Ten minutes later Jim was gone and Ryan let himself cry when he should have been getting himself ready for his date with him._

* * *

><p>They arrived at the cliched looking Chinese Restaurant that Jim loved so much, Ryan always rolled his eyes at how over the top it was, but the food was great <em>and<em> they delivered too which was always a plus. The two men had spent many late nights curled up in bed, watching a DVD while Jim clumsily fed Ryan sweet and sour pork, fumbling with the chopsticks and making them both giggle.

Ryan smiled mischievously recalling licking sauce of Jim's bare chest.

They were seated at a table in the back, quiet and private. Just the two of them, it was nice. They discussed unpacking Jim's boxes and getting a new apartment, now that both men were bringing in quite a large collective income, they could start looking at buying an apartment, maybe a townhouse.

It didn't take too long for the waitress to approach them. She was very attractive, Asian American, long black hair pinned back with cute bangs. Ryan could swear she was smiling a little too much for his sake.

"Ready to order?" she asked, grinning widely at Ryan.

He smiled and let out a nervous cough as he felt Jim's feet play with his own. "I'll have the duck, well done with a glass of whatever your house wine is."

The waitress let her gaze linger on Ryan for a second longer before turning to Jim. "And you sir?"

Jim watched Ryan with a smirk on his face, tracing Ryan's gaze that led to the waitress's breasts and grinning at the sight of his boyfriend checking out the woman's cleavage. "Beef with black bean sauce and the same glass of wine."

Instead of looking at both men, she completely turned her back to Jim and touched Ryan on the shoulder, giving him goosebumps. "I'll put your order through now."

She winked at Ryan, making him smile and look across the table at Jim who was staring at him, he had been caught.

"You're such a perv."

"Huh?" Maybe acting dumb would get him out of this. He hoped to God he hadn't _accidentally_ offended Jim, not on the night the man gave up his life for him.

Jim could see the man tense up, he smiled to relieve the pressure. "Checking out the waitress's tits right in front of your boyfriend."

Ryan smiled, "Sorry, I forgot I'm gay now."

"I'm kind of jealous now that I think about it," Jim replied, leaning forward on the table.

"You do know that I only see you right? You're the only person I want to be with?" Ryan said, patting Jim's hand and running a foot up Jim's calf.

"Nope. Too late, damage has been done,"

"Aw, want me to suck you off under the table?"

"Nope, I'm leaving you."

Ryan laughed a little too loudly, then looked around to see if anyone had noticed. "Do you think people know we're out on a date?"

Jim rolled his eyes and laughed. "You're so gay."

Ryan took a bite of his egg roll "I'm only gay for you though. You should take that as a compliment."

It was perfect. Ryan smiled as he realized that this would be his new life now. He was so happy.

Jim looked at him and softly asked, "So no regrets?"

Ryan wondered for a moment until he found his answer. "Just one. That time we broke up for like four months. That was bullshit."

"That sucked. We're together now though."

"Unless I leave you for the hot waitress."

"I hate you."

* * *

><p><em>"Why are you riding my fucking ass Ryan!" Jim snarled, cornering the man in the kitchen and double taking to make sure no one was paying attention. <em>

"_If you spent less time at reception and goofing around with Dwight and more time concentrating on sales, I wouldn't be," Ryan responded with a shit eating grin. _

"_Bullshit!" he spat. "I know why you're doing this! You can't fire me because I wouldn't move with you!"_

_This wiped the grin right off Ryan's face. He looked down to his expensive leather shoes, he had sold his soul and was now trying to hurt someone he cared about in the process. _

"_You never wanted us to work, my promotion was an easy excuse for you to end things!"_

"_That's not true!"_

_"Isn't it? I live two hours away Jim. Does that really kill a relationship? Putting a few cities between us?"_

"_I didn't want to be involved with you unless I could see you every fucking day! I cared about you, I really did!"_

_"Yeah, not enough to fight for us."_

_"Fuck you!" Jim snapped, "You know what? Believe whatever the fuck you want! And your beard makes you look like a douche," Jim snarled as he pushed through the door._

_By 5:30, everyone had left, with the exception of Jim, Oscar and Angela who were slowly finishing for the day. Ryan remained in the conference room on his laptop, ready to burn the midnight oil. All he ever did was work now, he thought it would be somewhat of a burden on his social life - what social life? But the feeling of the responsibility of his job made him feel driven with purpose. He had finally made it. But he was alone. _

_He knew Jim was strategically burying himself in work and waiting for the damn accountants to leave already so they could be alone together, even if they were only working. It didn't take too long for Angela and Oscar to leave, now they both waited, for the other man to make a move. _

_Ryan closed his laptop simultaneously to Jim spinning his chair around, perfect timing. He couldn't bring himself from staring into those big brown eyes. Even if they were full of disappointment and anger. _

_Jim stood up and walked in, closing the door and sitting at the opposite side of the table. He looked at Ryan to speak first. _

"_I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling genuine remorse and regret._

_It wasn't enough, Jim continued to frown. Ryan really had crossed a line. "You should be, that was pretty fucked up Ryan. I never thought you could be that… vindictive. I hate who you've become now."_

"_I'll leave you alone," Ryan mumbled as he unplugged the charger from the wall and stood up, stuffing his laptop in his bag._

_Jim wasn't ready to leave it at that. He knew he should, but he couldn't help himself. Even if he was picking a fight and instigating an argument at least it was something he could do to keep Ryan around him longer. "I don't get it! I've been nothing but supportive."_

_"You haven't! You trashed my website idea to Wallace the first chance you could! You laugh at me! Join in with all those other dickheads in making me feel like I'm out of my league. I can take it from them! But when you joined in I… I never felt like more of a loser. What pisses me off more than anything, was that last year you were the one who wanted to help me to shut them up. Believe me Jim, you've been everything but supportive."_

"_Ryan, I-"_

"_Fuck you!" he snapped as he picked up his bag and walked out of the room._

_Jim jumped out of the chair so fast it fell backwards onto the floor. He spun around and grabbed Ryan by the arm, pushing him back against the wall between the door to the conference room and Michael's office. Ryan struggled and tried to push Jim off him, but it was useless, Jim was stronger and pressing hard into his crotch. _

_That was all it took for Ryan to set his bag down and let Jim consume him. It had been so long since their last kiss. He almost forgot how he would melt, and moan and pant. Jim was warm and tasted exhilarating. _

_Jim stopped and gave him one more on the lips. _

"_You're not a loser Ryan. I'm sorry I hurt you."_

_Ryan smiled, before closing his eyes and letting his head drop against the back of the wall, he pressed Jim off him. "Shit."_

_Jim was confused. "What?"_

"_I think…"_

"_What?""I think I'm falling for you again."_

"_Good," Jim said, causing Ryan to spin around and shoot him a look. "Me too."_

_With that he grabbed Ryan by the top of his tie and slammed him back into the wall. His hands were allowed to roam freely, he chose to unbuckle Ryan's belt right there, until his hands were pushed away._

_Jim stared into his eyes intensely, Ryan smiled, "I'm not having sex with you in this office," he panted._

_Jim frowned and backed up. "Why not? Don't you want to?"_

_"No. I mean yes," Ryan blurted, running a hand up Jim's bicep. "I do. But not here."_

"_Okay, let's go to my place," Jim replied, smiling and taking Ryan's free hand into his own, stroking it with his thumb._

_"No. I'm staying at the Radisson. Follow me."_

_"Okay."_

* * *

><p><em>They laid tangled together in a mess in Ryan's hotel room, he laid flat on his back as Jim placed kisses up and down his stomach, making Ryan laugh, feeling very ticklish. He ran a hand through Jim's hair and pulled him closer to his own face. "Okay, explain it all one more time."<em>

"_We'll see each other every chance we get, vacation, when you come down here. I'll drive up every second weekend, and you come stay with me every other weekend."_

"_So you're really going to do this? Long distance."_

_Jim kissed him on the lips firmly, refusing to close his eyes. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want someone else kissing you or touching you."_

_It sounded perfect, but it was anything but ideal. It couldn't be helped, they were making the best of what they had with what they could. "How long will we go on like that? Forever?"_

_"I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. It's only two hours."_

"_Then why do we have to call it long distance?"_

_"Because driving for two hours takes ages." Jim chuckled, "We'll talk on the phone everyday."_

_Ryan rolled into his side and took a pillow, resting it under his head. He sighed contently when he felt Jim wrap his arms around his waist. He craned his neck once more, staring directly into Jim's face. "Do I really look like a douche?"_

"_No. I think your beard is kind of sexy, It makes you look like you're trying too hard."_

_"Fuck you."_

"_That's the plan."_

* * *

><p>They had stayed in pretty much all weekend, they went out to dinner on Friday, ordered a pizza on Saturday and some more that night.<p>

By 7:00, they were watching an old episode of Seinfeld. Jim sat on the couch naked, his arms stretched back, resting his head on his hands as he watched Ryan work him, feeling the warmth of a warm hand wrapped around him, another resting on the inside of his thigh.

"Are you close?" Ryan asked excitedly.

"Almost, don't go so fast."

Ryan stopped, feeling his hand cramp and removing it from him, shaking it until it went away. Jim gave him a disappointed, worked up look.

"Are we going to get old and boring and never have sex?" Ryan asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"_What?" _Jim groaned. He had no problem talking to Ryan when they were having any form of sex, having to re-assure him about their future was something else entirely, a completely unfavourable conversation to be having when he was currently rock hard and wanting to come. "You want to talk about this _now?_"

Ryan looked up, Jim couldn't resist his bright, blue, puppy dog eyes. They were hypnotising almost.

"We're having sex right now," Jim said, watching his tone.

"I'm giving you a hand job," he replied. "That's not sex."

"I fucked you last night, you fucked me the night before. What are you worried about?" He asked, feeling himself start to grow limp, wishing Ryan would take off his boxers and give him something to look at. "C'mere," he said, pulling Ryan up off the floor and letting him straddle his lap.

"I don't want you to regret moving out here," Ryan said softly. "I feel like I'm trying too hard to make you like it here. I know you love Scranton."

"I love you more," Jim smiled. "I don't and will never regret moving here. I'm exactly where I want to be."

"Okay," Ryan said, smiling, feeling satisfied and validated.

He picked Jim up again, scooting back to sit on his knees. It took no time for Jim to get hard again.

"Hey, slow down," he moaned as Ryan got faster and faster. His cock was hard and slick in Ryan's tight grip, being expertly worked. He didn't want to come too fast, it was only 7:00, they had all night.

"C'mon," Ryan moaned, using his free hand to reach inside his own boxers and stroke himself lightly, "Come for me Jim."

"Wait, I want to fuck you," Jim gasped, but it was too late. The pleasure Ryan was providing, plus the sight of the smaller man pleasuring himself was too much. Ryan gripped him tightly and aimed directly as his chest as both men gasped as he came, shooting streams all over his chest, the rest oozing out onto Ryan's hands.

"Whoops," Ryan grinned with a mischievous look on his grinned.

"You did that on purpose. I thought you wanted to have sex."

Ryan let Jim go after a few more slow strokes and resumed his position on the floor, sitting on his knees. He took Jim into his mouth and the man grew limp, cleaning off any remnants of come. Jim gasped as the man moved up and licked the trail of semen off his chest. He encouragingly ran a hand through the man's hair, almost weeping from satisfaction. He was so beautiful. He pulled the man in for a deep kiss. "Tricky bastard. So much for the fucking."

Ryan stood up, removing his boxers and pulling Jim up by the arm. They kissed once more as their naked bodies pressed into each other. Ryan sat down as Jim watched the man's hard cock spring to life.

He patted his thigh, indicating for Jim to sit down. "You'll get your turn when I'm done."

* * *

><p><em>Ryan checked his watch when he heard the buzz on the intercom. He walked over and pressed the listen button.<em>

"_Who is it?" he asked coyly, with a big grin on his freshly shaved face._

"_Santa. Who do you think?" Jim buzzed, muffled._

"_What took you so long?"_

"_Can you let me up already? I have presents."_

_Ryan giggled and buzzed him up. He quickly dashed around the apartment, straightening the cushions on the couch and turning down the volume down on his ipod which was connected to the stereo. It was Christmas Eve. Ryan had spent the day with his parents, and Jim with his family. Both men lied to their parents and said they were forced to work on Christmas Day in October, and had convinced their families to get together the night before. It was more of a hassle for Jim who had a large family, easy for Ryan who was an only child. They were both determined to spend Christmas Day with only each other. _

_Although he was Jewish, Ryan never celebrated Hanukah, he guessed some families were weird when it came to religion, he smiled as he thought of his parents labelling their family as Jewish without every celebrating any other festivity besides those that belonged to Catholicism. Besides, Christmas kicked ass. _

_He had to make sure the next ten days were perfect. Since they had gotten back together, they had never spent so much time together, which was why they both decided to take a Christmas vacation. Ten glorious days of uninterrupted time together. _

_Jim had taken a liking to New York recently, opting to drive up to Ryan's apartment every Friday night after work and staying the weekend, Ryan had begun to feel bad that he wasn't visiting Scranton, but Jim insisted. Now he was going to stay for over a week. _

_He hoped that maybe spending a considerable amount of time in New York, Jim would change his mind and move for him. Ryan had it all planned out, they would go to Rockefeller Centre, see a show, visit Times Square on New Years Eve and lure Jim into the magic that was Manhattan._

_It was now 6:30, the streets were already dusted with snow, Ryan hoped for a white Christmas. Jim staying with him for the next ten days would be the perfect gift, he knew he had fallen in love with him. The door knocked and Ryan answered it wearing a pair of slacks and a nice white dress shirt with a hint of the cologne he knew Jim loved. Perfect._

"_Merry Christmas."_

"_Hey."_

_Ryan burst out laughing as Jim put down his bags and pulled out some mistletoe, dangling it over their heads. Such a cliché. He reached his arm and pulled Jim's face into his own by his tie, opting for an appropriate, sweet kiss as appose to the normal, vicious swallowing of Jim's tongue. Jim smiled warmly and said what he always said when greeted at the door. _

"_I missed you."_

_"Fuck, I missed you so much this week," Ryan mumbled, letting Jim inside and pulling him in for a tight embrace, warming up to the feel of the man's strong arms. "By the way, you don't have to use the intercom, I gave you a key."_

"_It's the same key for the entrance?"_

_"You're an idiot," Ryan joked, never wanting to let Jim go, but noticing the corner of the gift sticking out of the unzipped top of one of Jim's bags. "What'd you get me?"_

_Jim grinned, bumping his head against Ryan's. "You'll have to wait till morning."_

* * *

><p><em>Ryan felt like a child again, unable to sleep on Christmas Eve, like a child waiting up for Santa. How could he sleep? He couldn't take his eyes off the tall, beautiful man that was sprawled out on his bed, long and naked and breathing softly. Ryan laid on his side with the cover reaching his thigh, the heater in the bedroom and the electric blanket made them both pretty toasty. The digital clock read 12:01, Christmas Day. He was officially spending Christmas Day with the man he loved. He figured he should get some sleep, he didn't want to be up all night and sleeping all day. Every second with Jim counted, it would be a long time until they got another chance to spend so much time together. <em>

_He crawled back into Jim's arms and rested his head on his chest. He placed a single kiss on the chest as he felt the man's heart beat. This was it for him, he had never felt happier in his life. He would always remember that moment as a perfect moment of happiness. He smiled as a few tears filled his eyes and sighed."I love you Jim."_

* * *

><p>"I'm nervous," Ryan admitted, slipping into a pair of underwear and throwing Jim's pair at him as he sat on the bed and dried his hair.<p>

"It's _my_ first day. You don't get to me nervous on my first day," he replied, discarding the towel and pulling a freshly pressed shirt off it's hanger. "Scared you'll be outed to the whole company?"

Ryan smirked and put his socks on. "Maybe we shouldn't have slept around so much. Whenever I'm in Utica, I always give off this vibe to Karen that we've slept with the same guy. I will never learn how to act normally around her."

"I hope she's happy," Jim mumbled with a small smile, he always regretted the way he treated her, he wished her nothing but the best he couldn't provide. He pulled on his underwear and fastened his pants.

"Judging by the rock on her finger, I'd say she is," he replied, putting on a sharp black shirt and rolling the cuffs back. "I wonder how Kelly is doing?"

Jim rolled his eyes and laughed, "Let's not go there. She probably still hates my guts for stealing her man."

Both men finished dressing and stood in front of the mirror, making final adjustments and evaluating their work. Ryan turned away and pulled Jim in closer to his face by the tie, teasingly.

"We're all grown up now Halpert," he mumbled, closing his eyes and slowly kissing Jim on the lips. He felt Jim's hand move down and cup his ass. "Look at you, head of sales. Jimmy Halpert, the prankster, the slacker, now has ten staff beneath him."

"You're so dorky," Jim said with a laugh, pushing Ryan back out of sheer embarrassment. "You gonna grow that stupid beard again?"

"You said it was sexy."

"I was trying to get into your pants."

"Slut."

"Ready?"

"Yep."

Jim helped Ryan into his coat and slipped his own on. They picked up their bags and headed off to work, opting to walk through the light fall of snow instead of driving.

* * *

><p><em>His eyes were closed and his mouth was wet, Jim's lips were always mushy and soft. This was the perfect way to ring in the new year.<em>

_They had opted for staying in, instead of going out to party. They were too old for it, both of them would be turning 30 sometime that year. Besides, why spend New Years Eve with a bunch of strangers if they could spend time with each other? The apartment was so warm, both men were freshly clean, smelling of soap, shampoo and deodorant, lounging around on the couch in their boxers with a single shared blanket. _

_They laid curled together on the couch. All fucked out for one night, Jim's hand sat beneath Ryan's boxers, prepping him for another orgasm that would surely come in an hour when they were ready for bed. Ryan did the same, slowly grinding his ass into Jim's hardening cock. Ryan smiled as he saw the blanket bob up and down around his crotch. He loved when Jim would play with him._

"_Happy new year," Jim whispered gently into Ryan's ear as he pulled the man closer and they watched the festivities on TV, hardly paying attention to anything besides the countdown and the ball that had dropped in Times Square, lost in conversation. It was now officially 2009._

_Ryan was nervous, hoping his words would improve their relationship and not make it more complicated. He turned his head and kissed Jim on the lips. "I love you."_

_Jim looked at him casually, no reaction, a blank slate. "Thanks. Do we have anymore bourbon?"_

_Just like that, Ryan felt his heart stop. His face burnt in humiliation. "Yeah… I'll get it."_

_He stood in the kitchenette feeling like an idiot. What kind of idiot says they love someone at midnight on New Years Eve. It was so cliché he wasn't surprised that Jim paid no attention to the comment. It always worked in movies! Stupid, stupid, stupid. He felt like crying and at the same time slamming Jim's head into the fridge. He opened the shelf and pulled out the second bottle, twisting the cap off and opening the fridge to find some more Red Bull. So much for their perfect holiday. _

_He sat back down on the couch and set the bottle and six pack next to the two empty glasses on the coffee table. Jim shot him a look asking why he didn't sit back down in his lap. Ryan ignored it. _

"_What are you doing? My hands are cold now?" Jim asked playfully. He shifted tried to pull Ryan back down into his lap. "I was kidding. I love you."_

"_Asshole!" he punched Jim in the arm._

"_Ow, dick!" Jim laughed, rubbing his arm and pulling Ryan in closer._

_He smiled, and resumed his position. Jim's hands wrapped around his waist but didn't drop back into his boxers, they just ran smoothly across the man's navel. _

"_Can we live together now? Please?" Ryan whispered, rolling over and pressing his face into Jim's neck._

"_Okay," Jim replied, smiling and kissing Ryan on the forehead._

_Ryan's arms pulled Jim into himself tighter than they already were. He took a deep breath, inhaling the man's scent. "Thank you," he whispered._

_Jim stroked Ryan's hair lovingly. "So how long have you been keeping it in for?"_

_Ryan chuckled, moving and leaning forward to pour him and Jim another drink. "Two months, since your birthday."_

_He handed him a glass and laid back down in his arms, Jim took a sip and smiled. "It took you two months to summon the courage to tell me that? You're such a pussy."_

"_Fuck you. I just didn't want to add any pressure to our situation," he replied, elbowing Jim in the stomach lightly. "What about you?"_

_Jim finished off his drink, quickly chasing it down and setting the glass back. "Remember that weekend you came down? We went to the beach?"_

_"Mmhmm. That was fun. I don't know why you dragged me to the beach during the Fall, it was fucking cold."_

_"Yes. I remember definite shrinkage," Jim laughed, unable to help himself._

"_Bite me!" Ryan snapped with a smile on his face._

"_C'mon, it was a joke. It was right there I had to go for it!"_

"_Yeah, you're a real fucking funny guy," Ryan grinned sarcastically and put his glass down. "You're the one who couldn't get me out of my shorts fast enough."_

_"I wanted to have sex on the beach," Jim spluttered defensively. "It was awesome."_

_"There was sand everywhere, the water was salty."_

_"Judging by the number of times you came, I'd say you enjoyed yourself."_

_Ryan sat up, "Ha! That was way before you're birthday! I knew you'd be the first one to break!" he gloated, feeling just about drunk and victorious. _

"_Shut up," he mumbled embarrassingly, pulling Ryan back down to his face. "I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

* * *

><p>Ryan and David Wallace showed Jim to his new office. It was nice to actually see the name 'Jim Halpert' stained onto the plate glass door.<p>

"Glad to have you on board Jim," David said, swiftly shaking his hand and patting him on the back.

"Glad to be here," Jim said with an easy smile and a laugh.

Ryan watched on, smiling that he got the CFO to sign off on promoting his boyfriend to their corporate office.

David looked to Ryan with a smirk, "I trust the two of you will act professionally at all times. I don't want a repeat of what happened with Jan and Michael."

Ryan's throat tightened, taken completely off guard by the comment. "I-uh, definitely," he spluttered, causing Jim to give him a look.

"Fantastic, I'll let you settle in," David replied, taking his leave before turning to look at Ryan once more. "Ryan, show Jim around, we've got a meeting at 10:30."

"No problem."

They were left alone, Jim excitedly tried out his new leather desk chair, sinking in and spinning around a few times, Ryan chuckled and walked over, sitting on the edge of the desk. "Open your top drawer."

Jim looked at him mischievously before doing so. Inside he found a gold name plate, inscribed, 'Jim Halpert. Head of Sales' He looked up at Ryan's giddy face. "Ryan… this is… Awesome!"

Ryan laughed, Jim stood up and gave the man a kiss on the lips. He reached down and held Ryan's left hand in his own, the other proudly holding out the name plate. "Thank you. For everything."

He smiled bashfully, never one for a romantic gesture. Aw, who the hell was he kidding? Ryan made sure to keep physical contact to a minimum at work, but this was special for him. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. You're the best."

"I love you."

"I love you."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN 2:_** Come back soon PompousDandy! I miss your work!


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